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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

THE RUDE PUNDIT SEZ....

Ten Other Things That Surprise Bill O'Reilly About Black People:
Thus spake O'Reilly: "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same, and that's really what this society's all about now here in the U.S.A. There's no difference." So, in honor of Bill O'Reilly's approval that black people act like white people:

1. Black women also don't like when their bosses call in the middle of the night to tell them how nice it'd be to rub their big boobs with a falafel.

2. When you berate them on national radio or television, black men also get upset.

3. Black mothers also don't like it when their children are killed in useless wars.

4. When you throw your whiskey glass at the black help at the Hamptons, they cry in pain just like the Hispanics.

5. Black crackheads in Harlem will knife you for the change in your pockets just like the white crackheads on the Upper East Side.

6. Black people also died on 9/11 and are susceptible to the inflammatory rumblings of a rabid blowhard.

7. While you're beating black whores to death in your uncontrollable priapic rage before fucking their corpses, they also plead for their lives.

8. And the blood they bleed is red, too.

9. When they're enjoying fried chicken and ribs with a side of watermelon, black people are known to use napkins.

10. Black people don't need to say "motherfucker" to know who is one.

(By the way, the Rude Pundit's been to a lot of restaurants in the skeeviest neighborhoods in black, white, yellow, and brown sections of town and, unless someone spoke it in another language, no one's ever said, "Motherfucker, I want more iced tea." Iced tea generally doesn't evoke such passion, unless you're Joe Pesci in about 1992.)


Yeah, just when you think the Falafel Man can't open his already big mouth to shove his foot further down in it, he comes along and surprises you with how much of his foot he can eat.

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5 Comments:

Blogger rikyrah said...

Good list. Bill ' O' is who he is..

I'm more upset and the Uncle Remus crowd trying to defend him.

4:50 PM  
Blogger The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

And the last person I would have thought would have been able to tom and coon so well was Screaming A (Stephen A.) Smith.

He of the masses who date women with the nickname of "Superhead". He's still trying to defend Isiah Thomas' lame behind for attempted sexual harassment of that sista.

I'm still pissed about that - like, because girlfriend doesn't exactly look like Halle Berry, Thomas isn't capable of trying to harass her.

Yeah, right.

I will be glad when the brothas come correct and admit they can be sexist, as well as point out those among them equally capable of being Lawn Jockeys and House Negroes.

6:54 AM  
Anonymous drbopperthp said...

Uh ChistoProgroLibro - I would suggest you refrain from holding your breath while you're waiting...

11:14 AM  
Blogger The Christian Progressive Liberal said...

Doc, you may well be right. (sigh)

One lives in hope, though.

1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I look around and when I see Black people eating anything they are usually licking their fingers, not using napkins, so I disagree with the above post. And they do cuss way more than others.

2:27 AM  

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