IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP(ESS)

LAWN JOCKEY ALERT! Sorry, Bob, to the Lawn you go...

Especially if you're Hillary Clinton. She's done everything to make this campaign about race.

Not the issues - cause she and Barack Obama are twins in the Senate. At least Obama can say he was anti-war; the Borg Queen has the Iraq War vote on her record and refuses to apologize for it.

Then, she trots out her husband to tell us "Uppity Negroes" to get in line and vote for his wife, because, to hear him put it, Barack Obama is nothing more than a "kid" whose campaign is a "fairy tale". She's even got Bob "Sell-Out" Johnson to crack that whip on us uppity Negroes, and round us up back to the plantation.

Excuse me, but since I was born during "Camelot", I kinda like that shyt, and wouldn't mind seeing it revisited, even in the guise of Barack Obama.

Why? Because his campaign is about hope. And if you give up Hope, you have given up, period.

No, the Christian Progressive Liberal hasn't hopped on the Obama train just yet. He needs to quit talking noise about bombing Pakistan, and keeping troops in Iraq until 2013. He also needs to come clean on where he's getting his cheddar for this race. Grass roots can do plenty, but he's beyond grass roots (I'm smelling DLC largesse here).

However, having the Big Dog to imply that I need to get in my place and vote for his wife is giving me gas. His wife can't win on the issues; so they dig up race. Need we be reminded that when all is said and done, while Hillary may have the nomination at a very high and bitter cost, unlike 1980, when Ted Kennedy and Jimmy Carter kissed and made up, Hillary Clinton's smoking the good stuff that would facilitate such delusions if her camp keeps it up with the Obama attacks.

And trotting out Bob Johnson, the biggest corporate sell-out ever, does not do the campaign good; in fact, it might help Obama. African-Americans are still trying to live down that minstrel show known as Black Entertainment Television. Johnson sold out to Viacom, took his payday and told us Black people to "piss off; I never knew ya."

African-Americans like me have been trying to beg Comcast to extract BET from our cable lineup, as well as Faux Network. We shouldn't have to pay for cable channels we don't watch.

Well, guess what Bob? You're not "Big-Time" Bob Horry and this campaign is not the NBA playoffs. You want to be a fool, do it on your own dime. You can even carry the Borg Queen's water. I'm just wondering what the hell has she promised you, Magic Johnson, the Congressional Black Caucus members like John Lewis, Stephanie Tubbs-Jones, Sheila Jackson-Lee, Eddie Bernice Johnson and Champagne Charlie Rangel, to go out and diss Obama like y'all doing?

I know, I know - the brotha stepped into Congress and when he didn't do his "lawd-mercy; I's glad to be up in here Senate" dance and jive for y'all; when he didn't start up with passing out the money train passes for campaigns like you wanted, and when you damned near had to put a gun on him to venture into Tennessee and campaign for someone he absolutely could not stand (Harold Ford, Jr.), Obama pissed off all of you with his independence. Not to mention some of you sistas were engaging in reverse sexual harassment and the brotha has a fine woman at the house. Why would you think he'd want ground round when he had filet mignon waiting for him at home?

So you're now engaging in a deranged and retarded form of payback on Obama by endorsing the Borg Queen. That was fine, as long as race wasn't the factor.

But her husband, her minions, with their code words "fresh & clean" "Shuck & Jive", "fairy-tale", "Kid", accusing the man of being a drug dealer, and trashing speeches of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., so damned close to his birthday - well, as it did for the top Negro in Congress, Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC), you should be having second and third thoughts about hitching your wagon to this woman.

You know why Clyburn's having second thoughts? That brotha's a Southern brother who's fluent in code-speak, as most African-Americans who know their history, are fluent in code-speak. We know what a white person is trying to say when they want to be racist, but not sound racist. We know what "kid" means (calling a Black Man a boy as insult); we know what "he speaks so well" mean (as in "Damn, he can talk good for a Negro!?). Clyburn is now thinking, "If that's how the Clintons really feel about African-Americans like me, I might need to give Obama another look-see, cause I'm not feeling the Clintons."

In other words - "If I can't eat at your table, I damned sure don't want your scraps."

As a matter of fact, until Clyburn went public with his remarks, all of this was flying under the radar, but riding high in the Black Blogsphere. You know this pattern of "code-speak" has gotten bad, to the point that Donna Brazile quit straddling the fence and calling a spade a damned spade.

Like anyone else who actually wants to diss MLK, but knows better, you quote his speeches and stretch them the hell out of actual content and context to fit your dissin'. When called on it, you say in protest that you didn't mean what you said. That it came out wrong than you intended. Taken "out of context", if you will.

But, you cannot unring a bell. You cannot recycle a postage stamp. And you damned sure can't eat words back up into your mouth as if they were never said, no matter who's telling you "she didn't mean what she said."

I know Hillary Clinton's getting a bad deal from the press - let's face it, in one of her proudest moments on the "Today" show sixteen years ago, she said that it was a "vast, Right-Wing conspiracy" out to get her and the Big Dog. And, guess what? We cheered that shyt - we loved having a First Lady who was smart, and knew how to hold down a friggin' 9-to-5, and could call the press on their bullshyt, not to mention being politically savvy and not zoned out on Prozac as is the current First Lady. They only trot out Miss Laura when Bush needs to look human.

Hillary's had a target on her back ever since. But that does not give her the right to make this campaign about race, because she has nothing in her arsenal upon which to fight Barack Obama in this campaign. So, because they are determined that nothing - NOTHING, will stop the Clinton agenda, they resort to the one weapon of mass destruction guarateed to destroy the progress made in this country, miminal as it is; that's guaranteed we take our eyes of George Bush's machinations that continue to send this country to hell, and finally, guarantees that the damage done from using this weapon will be of nuclear magnitude. Once those wounds are created, no soft words of apologies or kind words spoken to African-Americans; even the gesture of naming these House Negroes to positions in your Administration where they become nothing more than Lawn Jockeys, will be enough to facilitate healing the breach and polarization that weapon will cause.

And it will all be for nothing, because the rifts caused between the Clintons and African-Americans will be so wide, John McCain and another ReThug Administration will be able to drive right on through, pass "GO!" and collect their $200 dollars.

I hope the Clintons can live with gambling against such high stakes and we all look on, knowing she bet against the House and the House always wins. Even if you have Bob and Magic Johnson in your hip pocket to try and round up the rest of us who ran off and escaped the plantation, because we're hoping for the better.